Remembering You
by Andalusia25
Summary: Kate's sister re-opened wounds that Gibbs can never heal. Gibbs-centric


**Disclaimer: I own nothing of NCIS.**

**This is my first attempt at NCIS fan fic.**

**Kate's sister re-opened wounds that Gibbs can never heal.**

Alone in his basement with nothing but his memories to keep him company, Gibbs watched the dust filter to the floor in the rays of late afternoon sunshine streaming in through the tiny windows. It was rare that the experienced agent was overcome with his life's misfortunes, but the abrupt arrival of Caitlyn Todd's sister had left him defenseless to the onslaught of his recollection. He had hid behind his usual persona of gruffness, all the while watching her pick through his team searching for answers to questions she should have never had to ask. Gibbs had hid his memories of Kate away from his conscious mind; they were tucked neatly beside those of Shannon and Kelly. But now for one single afternoon, he would let them free.

The team had taken the inquest inside their soul disguised as a routine psych evaluation quite well. Four pairs of haunting eyes had met him after their private interviews with Dr. Cranston but none had shown any ill effects of remembering their fallen co-worker. Gibbs had been surprised to find out that she had not only attempted to interview Ducky, but Vance as well. The woman was still reeling from loosing her sister and had volunteered to come to the place that had become her life and her death. It was not a request Gibbs could deny; he understood her situation better than anyone. Her face had been so similar to Kate's. When he had found her sleeping Gibbs could almost see his agent. Everyone else had also let their memories free.

Tony and Kate had a friendship that was deeply buried under what could only be explained as rivalry. It was easy to see that Tony had developed an attraction to Kate, but never acted upon it. He felt guilty that his partner had died standing beside him after she had risked her life to stand beside him during his hospitalization with the plague. Kate was added to a growing list of personal pitfalls Tony was racking up against himself. He never spoke of her, but he always remembered her birthday and the day of her death. On the anniversary of her death, he would usually appear at Gibbs' home to share some whiskey in the basement. On her birthday, he would stop at St. Mary's to say a prayer for the Catholic woman's soul.

Tim had respected Kate both as an agent and as a person, but they were not particularly close. While Tim had no doubt been upset by loosing a fellow agent, he had not been as effected as Tony. Their relationship had been strictly professional, not personal. Tim had gone to Abby for comfort, and Gibbs could not begrudge him that.

Abby had been Abby. She had loved Kate and welcomed her to 'Team Gibbs' with open arms. They had bonded in a way only a pair of women far from home and family could ever manage. Kate's death and then the attempt on Abby's life had left the scientist vulnerable and raw, her mourning had been deep. It was painful to watch the Goth come to terms that her friend was never coming back through her lab door again. Abby would accompany Tony to say prayers at the church every year and then they would listen to Kate's favorite band on the way to work.

Ziva had not known Kate and yet she had to shoulder the fact Kate's killer had been her only brother. Ziva's redemption had presented itself by her killing Ari. Her world had shattered around her as she listened to his deranged explanation for killing an American Agent. Most of the team had met her with open hostility, with the exception of Ducky and Tim. She had to not only manage her case load, but she had to prove to her fellow agents she was not as treacherous as her brother. The battle had been costly, but in the end she had gained a family that would stick beside her through thick and thin.

Gibbs could not stop the images of the petite brunette from forming in his mind's eye. From the moment he had meet her on Air Force One, Gibbs had been drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She was so much like Shannon and yet so different. He had done the only thing he could do to prevent himself from attempting any sort of relationship with Kate: he had given her a job as one of his agents. But even at NCIS, he had not treated her like the others. It was fairly obvious that Kate was his favorite. That had been what Ari had seen, that is why Kate was killed. Kate had died because Gibbs loved her. And if Ari, an outsider, could see that love it would be ridiculous to think that the insiders had not. Tony had, that is one of the reasons he never crossed the line with her, only flirted occasionally and kept his hands to himself. Ducky and Abby had and had let it be known in their only little ways. Of course after her death, everyone around him could see it in the way he reacted. It had been a long time before the ache in his chest was bearable.

Now he was left without Jenny, without Hollis, without anyone. His personal life was as empty has it had been all those years ago after loosing his girls. For weeks following Kate's death he asked himself if he could have prevented it by just allowing the natural attraction to grow instead of recruiting her to NCIS. It was always the same answer as when he asked about changing the accident surrounding Shannon and Kelly's death, he would never know. But he had his team, those five men and women who needed him as much as he secretly needed them, those who had also been left behind with their own memories of Agent Caitlyn Todd.

There was one small ray of hope, wherever Kate was she had both of his girls to keep her company. While Gibbs had never told Kate about his first wife and child, he was sure she knew all about them now. Sighing Gibbs got up and walked to his work table opening a small door on the far left. Inside were two pictures, a drawing and a tape. The first was the familiar red haired woman holding the smiling child and the second was a brunette dressed in NCIS gear. The picture was a pencil drawing of a middle aged man staring off into a distance. The tape was of a little girl signing. These were his most prized possessions.

Replacing the items, Gibbs turned back to his newest boat. His eyes followed her wooden frame, checking for rough spots that needed more sanding. This would be his newest distraction. She would be a gift to his god-daughter to replace the one that had been destroyed a few years back. Her name would be _Kate. _

**A/N: Thanks for reading**

**Please let me know what you think!**


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